One big happy family.

This is the Darger family, they are Independent fundamentalist Mormons and they are a polygamous family in America, dad, 3 moms and 20 children! While I was trawling the net I came across many images like this, they all depict large families consisting of 1 father and 2-3 mothers with a brood of children, ranging from babies to teenagers. The Dargers all live together in one house,God knows how they manage, and what there sleeping arrangements are.They aren't Muslim but the impression I got from  their blog is that of a busy hectic life but all in all it's a family that lives in harmony together, this is what it should be like, one big happy family.  This is normal for families like this in the USA, but I was interested in what life was like for such a family here in the UK. The co-wives here usually live in separate homes and the husband visits them in turn. I wanted to look at how the children faired in all this, go to any household with children and you'll hear the mother screaming, 'Wait till your father gets home...' but what if the father doesn't get in that evening, what if he's with his other children? Does this then lead to the children being more disruptive because of an absentee father? My search for answers led me to a blog, and after reading some of the comments on it, I was left feeling quite sad, I came across words like:

•   jealousy                                              
• low self-esteem       
• neglect 
• hatred
• anger
• sibling rivalry 
• attention deficit disorder
• depression

The majority of comments on this blog were about people's personal experiences and the way in which they were affected by polygamy. One blogger  known as 'Marcel' was very open and frank about his feelings, he said he didn't like his half sisters and felt no connection to  them, feelings towards his step-mother were of resentment and bitterness. I was more concerned, however, with how he expressed feelings of hatred  towards  his  father, fathers are meant to be  role models someone you look up to and aspire to be.  Marcel portrays his mother as something of a martyr, this could be one of the reasons he has so much bad feeling towards his father, wife no.2 and her children. I think it's essential that the mother makes sure that her children maintain a healthy relationship with their father, their half-siblings and step-mothers, if she is  giving off  negative vibes, the children will naturally see her as the 'victim' and see their father as the  'bad guy' I have seen in the Darger family an example of polygamy, if it is done correctly it can be a family that lives a harmonious life, which is how it should be.